Why is it so hard to just find a guy who cares about you just as much as you care about them? I do a lot for the boys I date, most of the time im the one taking care of them. All I want is a guy to take care of me for once. And truly love me for me. Yea my last relationship was okay, I know the boy truly cares about me, but that’s just not enough. He didn’t have a job, a license, and he also dropped out of high school. I just can’t deal with that, I have my own life to piece together, I shouldnt have to piece his back together to? I know that sounds mean, but honestly I’ve dealt with a couple guys in this same situation. No job or license and its just too hard to have a relationship when I’m the only one putting in the effort. And seeing my boyfriend with no responsibility, makes me want to do the same! And it’s not like they tried to get a job of license, they just sat around expecting these things to pop out of thin air. No effort was put in. And that just annoys me more than anything, I’m over here busting my ass and their expecting to be catered to. No, idts! So I’m just done with childish relationships. I need a man who knows what they want in life, and has their shit together. Cause that’s whats going to motivate me to keep my shit together and do things for myself like I’ve been doing. Is it so much to ask for a good guy with a good head in his shoulders?

I’m so sick and tired of dealing with bullshit every single day. I try so hard to make everyone happy, and better myself. But why is it that I can’t be happy? I’m constantly being put down by everyone. My family, my friends, even the people I work with! It’s just pathetic, I deal with assholes on a daily basis. Today at work, I got bitched at for being late even though I had no other choice but to wait for my father to get out of work because my family’s struggling with cars. We have one car, and 3 of us have to go to work everyday. I tried explaining that to my coworkers, but their just rude and cruel to me about it when I really have no control over the situation. There’s 2 old ladies I work with that are the biggest bitches I’ve ever met and always put us kids down. That’s just wrong in so many ways, they should be helping us with problems, not making things worse. After being late, I went home after a stressful day of bickering and arguing with everyone, only to have someone from work call me and accuse me of stealing tips? I am not that kind of person, I would never steal off of anyone. And for this lady, who steals tips from people all the time, to call me and yell at me for it is just ridiculous. I’m just so over it, and I need to find a new job before I blow my brains out… Not to mention I get into the car after work, and my mother bitches at me saying I don’t appreciate anything. Yet, I work my ass off everyday and deal with idiots at work. I pay for my own phone bill, I pay all my fines, and starting in December Ill be paying for school by myself. I believe that Im growing up finally, and no one appreciates that nor believes it. I just need to get out of this state of mind, i feel like no one even cares about me or how I feel anymore even though I’m one of the most caring and considerate people ever. I mean no harm to anyone. But when I’m constantly being put down an treated like dirt, I want to act just the same way towards people because I don’t deserve to be treated that way. I just need someone to talk to, and I feel like no one truly listens. Which is why im ranting on and on via tumblr. Whatever, that’s why it’s my blog and I do what I want with it.